My love story.

                

You are answer to my mom’s prayer.

I don’t remember much. It’s vague now. The memoir just take birth in my mind. The night was as usual. The night, so beautiful that  we ever have in Bhutan, so serene and soothing. The night held its silence, only I could feel was enticing breeze swapping my uncovered face. I could hear a couple of dogs hauling down along the street and the rustling of leaves of big old tree just behind my room. I could see the twinkle of sky and calmness of moon. With silver lining of cloud already bygone, sky was crystal clear except few block of cloud. I don’t know what I was doing there. Alone, lost in thought. The thought that was never clear and vivid. I never loved solidarity. The night just drove me insane. Through all my life, I was never entrapped in such a feeling. Feeling that was so strong, energetic, holistic and ephemeral. It was unusual for me; for I had never plunged into such feeling before. But one thing, that I was sure was that the feeling was genuine. I could weigh the intensity of it. Feeling that was even too heavy for my little heart to hold. i looked all around. It seemed different. I couldn’t believe my eyes. i rubbed my eyes simultaneously. It almost turned red. i looked again but it seemed different as I did before. I took three steps more and looked back. I felt as if I was heading towards the path unknown. The path that nobody took before. I feared for its bleak end. But before I could take another step, someone called me. The voice was barely audible. When I turned back it was my mom reminding me to sleep, as it was already late night. Slowly, I saunted back to my room. I prostrated to god and closed my eyes for beautiful dreams. But one that struck my mind was something is going to happen. Something unpredictable, unimaginable and mysterious yet not too strong to fathom.

I don’t remember who woke me up.I woke first among all. Even my mom  was still on her bed. She was doing bit of farewell to sleep. My brother on left corner was still snoring loud. On my right, my niece was still dreaming with her hair gone loose. Strand of hair covered her cute face partially. I was staring at all of them. They all appeared so dissolved in their own world. I rolled my eye balls back to mom. She was chanting prayers. Her eyes closed and body straight. Through all my life, I had never seen her doing so. Even there were times, when I thought to myself that she was non believer in god. She many a times hated being religious. I didn’t continued staring her. Rather, I quickly moved my eyes away from her. I didn’t want her to notice me. It took couple of minutes, before I sensed her moving towards door. I remained silent. I knew she didn’t notice me being awake either. After all, I slept till mid-day on other days. She returned after five minutes. She flash her look on all of us.May be it gave her satisfaction of being mother by doing so. “Oh you woke “, said she. The voice was feeble but was strong in emotion. Ya, ama, I said in low assuring tone. I felt her love. I lived dawned in her love since my birth. As, mother is the first girl a son  fall in love with. ”You get ready and I will prepare you breakfast ok”, she said.I shook my head as gesture of agreement. It didn’t take me more time. I got ready. Before I could style my hair she came with beak fast. ”Do it fast, cap will leave at 6.30 am and its already 6.15am”,she said looking at her watch to confirm.” I got milk for you instead of tea. It’s good to drink milk when you embark on long journey”, she mumbled with tinge of smile on her face. Yes, really it seems. I supported her.

I did eat my breakfast at accelerated rate. I had three small luggage. She helped me reach my luggage to cap station. I checked my watch. It read 6.27am.Only three minutes for me to leave.She came near to me. She looked straight to my eyes. I lowered mine to avoid eye contact. “son, you know..” she started. It’s traditional that elderly give advice on the verge of leaving. It’s our culture. Culture that came thriving through ages.” You have big task ahead..”..she continued.” I have faith in you.You can become somebody. You got that potential.At this juncture, I want to wish you very  best of luck in everything you do.God bless you always.As your mom, I will always be happy to see you being happy and being successful”. She  covered her face in her palm. She sob with heavy heart.I was unaware what made her sob so heavily.I looked at driver. He stretches his slim hand to clean rear glass.Then,he starts the engine.Before,I could say byee ama,she held my hand.She hugged me and said,” You will meet beautiful partner,because I have prayed for you. So that she will make you realize you dream.Good luck son”.Thank you ama,I said. I couldn't control my tears.It rolled down my cheeks.But I tried to be strong and got inside the bus.No sooner did I enter the bus,then the bus started. With the heavy heart, I adjusted myself on the seat. I threw quick look on all passengers. Every one was serious and moody.

Unlimited thinking stirred up in my brain. Now what else, I thought. I reach my hand on my luggage pocket. I caught hold of my cell and thought it would end everything going on in my mind. I will listen some songs, I said to myself. But every songs I had was old one, so I switch over to facebook. I checked who all are online.There were just few of them.I were not acquainted with all of them. I lost interest in it too. Suddenly, I saw a new friend on right hand corner of facebook Page.It says one mutual friend, +Add Friend.i clicked her name.I would say, she had beautiful name.I checked her photos,as we all normally do.She had only two photos. One photo blurred too much but other one clear. She appeared so beautiful.I couldnot help myself downloading her photo.i felt as if I knew her from past generation. She appeared dazzling. My eye got glued to her photo. For some time ,I forgot the world. She became my world.The imagined how she looked in real. How elegant would she look if she were near.I was even becoming judgemental. I comapared her with beauty queen.But no one could beat her beauty.

She had her hair tied up into pony tail, with few strands of it falling on her face. Her eyes was unmatchable. It glowed throwing it radiance all around. Its luminosity pervades all light. I could see the beauty of world through her eyes.It was so attractive. It prompted me to the extent of checking my eyes on the glass. i forget everything.The world outside bore no meaning for me. The world outside seemed devoid of feeling. I touched her hair on my phone screen. It appeared so silky, soft and full of fragrance. Then I move my finger on her lips.i could feel a freshness in it.It appeared as if she blushed to red with my soothing touch. i could not describe what type of feeling I developed for her. But I knew I could not get away from her.”hy..what are you doing Ram”,a voice resounded.I was so engrossed.I felt reluctant to even move my eyes a bit.But before I could resolve,he came infront and shook hand.”hi

,,I’m Pema.Infact, we studied together.Friends used to call me ‘Bull’.We even stayed in same hostel”, he continued with his intro.But I was least interested in it.I just shook my head to give a lead.he wished me happy journey and he got seated.I felt happy that he remembered me but nostalgic feeling grabbed me.

No sooner he got away, I resumed my own tast.i thought for a while.I put my hand on my left chest.I could sense my heart beating faster. My brain abnormally heated up. I didn’t know what to do and more importantly what caused it.I found myself spell bound. I felt entrapped.I felt engrossed with all my heart. She kindled the feeling of love in my heart.I hesitated even to look beyond my mobile screen which displayed beautiful picture of her. Knowing not what to do, I sent her friend request. Every day, I just logged in to see if she has accepted me.i became dumb founded. In reality I’m brave and bold.But,I got drunk with the poison of love. Time passed but feeling grew fonder day after day.I gathered all my courage and wrote a short message to her. Sometimes, I just logged in to check her photos. Sometimes, I stayed late going through her pages. Nothing appeared more important than her.She became my first priority in my daily agenda.

Until now,the day I started my journey has not come to an end.i feel still I’m travelling on voyage. i’m still longing for her.i have become prey to her heart.i want to express my feeling to you today.I have searched you high in the mountain and deep in the valley.I left no stone unturned in search of you.Now,I feel I found you.A person close to my heart.I offer you a special place in my heart.I would nurture you in me with my every heart beat. Every throb of my blood contains your feeling.I have nothing to give you.I just want to give you my heart, which just beats for you ,always and forever.i will not promise to solve all your problem myself but I promise I won’t let you solve it alone.I will always be at your side.I want to be your shadow and be with you always.I want to be your morning sun and soothing evening moon.I want to be you heart beat.Infact,I want to be your life.

Now, you heard my message. i want you to weigh my feeling. My feeling is true and pure. My feeling is unconditional and un subjective. My feeling is like word craved on rock. With conviction I propose you.i propose you to accept my love. Because, without you I’m worthless. I promise, I won’t bring tears on your eyes.I promise I would give all happiness. I promise, I will be your prince charming now and forever.

I pray you don’t let me down. I pray you  not to let my mom’s prayer go unanswered. You are my mom’s prayer and god gift to me. I love you, I Love you, I love you GD!!!