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(28-August-2013)
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he
dead night broke into dawn with early ring of temple bell. It was pitch morning
but people hovered around. I was feeling damn drowsy. I was squinting to
figure out someone at the far end of the temple but to no avail. I was
incessantly rubbing my eyes in a hope to have clear sight of what were all
around. I rubbed my eyes to red but still, sight was blurred. I was standing at
terrace. I could see the huge depth of building.It's my hostel allocated for
academic session 2013-2014.Unlike past years, i have privacy this year. I can
do whatever i like in my room. Because we get single room in final year. In
fact, i'm on the top of my three-storied hostel building feeling lost to
oneself.To the right,i can see a majestic Hindu temple.I could hear chanting of
mantras and prayers.It makes my mind wholesomely religious. I could feel the sensation of goodness in me.
It was almost four years before, when my dad said," Ram, you are going far
away. A place unknown to you. But the place you’re heading to is the most
renowned for both Hindu origin as well as Buddhist. Take a holy bath in Ganga
and bring me Ganga Jal. It frees us off all the sin we did, if we take a
bath". He didn't say much,may be because he didn't know whole length of
story.But he did know more than i did. I wondered from where he got all those
info.
I was standing on terrace of patel hostel, gently feeling the
warmth of sun rays as it kisses every geographical features it meets.I could
feel the radiance of sun on my face,warming up continuously.Unlike other days,
the prayers and mantras continued for quite long.Actually,my college was closed
for the day.I didn't have to attend lecture.Wow..i liked that feeling as i
always do.But what made to wake up early??....I never go to morning walk or
morning gym.Though i make my short appearance at gym at evening just to work on
my biceps.I was pondering what special the day had in store for me.I continued
to watch people loiter.Suddenly,i felt some thrust from within.A thrust
compelling me to pray and wish for something.I closed my eyes and
prayed,,"May god bless all sentient being and free them from
suffering...May god grant me......", before i could finished my wish,a guy
called me "Bhaiya"..i swiftly turned to find black complexioned and
sturdy boy..I didnt know how long had he been watching me there.He must have
seen me watching at temple.May be he thought i was too holy.He plunged his hand
deep deep inside a plastic..and took out lodu.."Do you take prasad..i got
it from temple just before.Today is auspicious day.Its krishna Janamasthni ".I shrugged.Oh..is it? i said
in low tone after a brief pause.He nods his head as a gesture of
assurance. He handed me a handfull of prasad and he shuffled away. i was
spell bound.I couldnot do anything.I just smiled to myself considering it as
the miracle of believing in god.
I
took the Prasad on my hand and threw a last glance to the temple.I decended
slowly through the staircase leading to attic from my room. My room is located
on top floor. Exactly the middle room of the wing C. On the steel beam on top
of the door, it is written room No: 172..To make it more identical.My door
bears my name, Mr. Ram B. Darjee, B.Tech. Civil Engg-Final year.All my friend
has same thing written on their door and even they have their hobby mentioned
vividly on it.
It
was dead silent along the corridor except for the sound of leaves rustling. All my Bhutanese friend are still in
dream land. May be dreaming of their beautiful ladies back home.Their doors are
locked but still I could hear some of them snoring. I could figure a handful of
hard working Indian friend preparing for job which offers them crore packages. I
unlocked my door and got in. I placed Prasad on paper infront of my little
altar.Which bears Lord Saraswati protrait,A bhagawat Gita Book and Buddhist
text and Dalai lama portrait.Instantly,I went to washroom,refreshed myself and
lighted intense stick.Thanking that guy who offered me Prasad.I prayed for all
sentient being and prayed all my wishes come true.
I
was amazed the way the day started off. I genuinely felt optimistic for the
day. But there were other things in my head apart from holistic feeling.To put
in accord, it had been exactly a month since I had seen a queen of my heart:
Which I have described in my previous story. The feeling that trigger off my heart to dead extent. I wished it come true.
I tried to convince her several times. But each time I tried, I failed. I used
to see my phone hundreds of time just to check if I had received a text from
her. Hardly did I receive text from her then. More interestingly, I saved her
number as “Dream Gal”. Sometime, in my awful failure to convince her. I thought
that “dream gal” would just be in dream. Least, I knew it would happen in real.
I sent her a last proposal text to her a day before. My proposal text read:
Hii dea…love doesn’t happen all at once. It takes time. For me you are the
epitome of beauty. I feel that we can work very well together. we are from same
situational background. We two share lot
of similarities in hobby,likes and dislikes.It certainly would make our
relation an
I’m
very bad at writing essay on other topics. I hardly pen down few pages.On
contrary, when I’m in love. Pages of book and ink finishes but not my sentence
entwined with silken feeling.I have not gone through such excruciating feeling
of love before.it used to be just superficial one before. Never a deep and true
feeling as that day had happened
before.Among the thousand of feelings in my head,I even didn’t have single
feeling that the reply would be positive. She have even
texted me one night,”You can purpose me
thousand time but my answer would never change. It will be big “No” always”.The
sentence killed me evrytime I thought of.But unkown to other, in the earnest
corner of my heart I knew that one day she would be mine. She would like me one
day. Perhaps, she would love me for
whole life and seven generation. This were the typical feeling that occupied my head
for the entire day.
I
neither took breakfast nor lunch. I was not hungry.” No”…I was hungry but
didn’t want to take anything. I know all of us would feel the same way when we
are in emotional turmoil/ trauma.We forget
that we are hungry in the bad and
demanding situations. At night I was inside the room all alone. A man lost to
despair.Ting..tong…Ting tong…doorbell rang. He must have ringed several times
but I didn’t hear. I wouldn’t hear because I dozed off with phone on my hand.
Like poor victimized boy. I lazily flung open the door. ”still sleeping…like
pig….”,Damchoe roared like a lion. I nodded to swallow whatever he told with
dignity. ”let’s go for maggi”…he said in
somber but energetic tone. “oye..maggi maggi……”,he shouted on top of his voice to other friends.
I put on a track pant. Thanks to them, at least I ate something.
They
were all happy. They debated on various topic ranging from engineering to
politics. But I felt aloof. I felt melancholy. They did notice but they dare
not tell me. I didn’t tell them either. I was afraid that they would mock at
me.
I
returned to the room. I laid on bed with my face upward. All I could see was
fan at its full speed, Cloths haphazardly hung at one side and 200watt bulb
with intense luminosity on the other side. It was almost 10 pm. For the last time,
I check my phone. I would not have seen my simple i-ball phone so often, has it
not been her message flashing in it. My “dream gal”. The time were so critical.
I was dying to receive her reply. I felt I was head over heel in love with her.
i didn’t know when I dozed off until I heard a message sound in my phone. I
woke up as if spring was attached on my back. May be I could have out skilled
Zackie Zan in fastness that time. I immediately opened the message box. The message
flashes on my phone screen..one sms from some unknown number. But it was having
Bhutan code (+975-).Alas! it’s not her number. Again, I was plunged into pool
of sadness.
But
when I opened.It read…..
…..When I recall my past days it
only evokes frustration.I always hated my life because everything that took
place was not my expectations.My prayers were not answered and everything was
against me.But in the harsh reality of my life,you came as a sweet surprise and
occupied my heart.I’m really happy to know that you still want me even after
knowing the truth.So today,I want to accept you as my love and say from inner
core of my heart that” I LOVE YOU TOO”.My heart is very fragile so please never
try to betray me.I want to live for for you now and forever..Luv u alys n tkcr…n
sorry that I hurt you before….
Wow…my
happinese knew no boundary.I couldnot believe my eyes.I shaked my head to
confirm that I was awake. My hand was
shivering. My heart pounding faster. I couldnot believe what I had seen on my
low quality phone screen. I felt I got what I wished for. All those black complexion
boy, handful of Prasad splashes on my head.I thank that guy who reminded me of
the special day as I could pray for my wish to be granted.I didn’t know what to
do.I walk along a small lobby smiling wholeheartedly
to my self.I felt the message brought me
alive.It rekindle hope to live on this earth.I was as happy as pea-cock.
I,
with abnormal feeling browsed a net. I type krisna Janamasthni. It says”It is the day where lord Krishna
reincarnate to end evil and bring goodwill .It also the auspicious as it bring
unity and faith” .I become entirely blessed .I was overwhelmed as acceptance
happened on the auspicious day. I wish and pray the good to outshine the evil.
May our love anecdote be an immortal. May god bless us with happiness, make us
a perfect partner forever.
With
all these feeling in my mind, I ringed her. I put phone close to my ear and
listen her ever sweet caller ring tone…“Hum Teri bina..abu rahai nahi
sakti..teri bina kabujuda kiya”.. i lost confidence. I ended call and gathered
guts.Then I rang her again.”Hum Teri bina..abu rahai nihi sakti..…..” ,Hello!”,
She said. And continued,” Are you angry with me?”. I didn’t know what to say. I
just mumbled with words. I was so nervous with happiness. She understood me
being nervous and said” its oki..gudnit”.Wow..that were really sweet words she uttered. It still rings
in my ears. I finally gathered courage and said,”Thank you so much..and gunit
and swtdrm to u too…”.Love is something that happens in so real even when
lovers are miles away.The true and real meaning of love is you!!
